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The Relationship Diva: Breaking Up the Right Way  Romantic or Not

Get more: relationships
07/07/2011

It's easy to form relationships with the people we see most often - not just the romantic kind - and they can quickly become very important to us. But, like all relationships, we've been faced with the tough choice to end it when it just isn't working anymore.

So what do you do when it's time to say goodbye? And, what should you do to break-up the right way and not cause long-term friction.

Tips for breaking up the right way - romantic or not!

1. Don't Drag it out - once you've decided that you're going to do it, stick to your decision and don't dodge someone because that can lead to more resentment. and, for those people that may count on your business, being upfront can also let them plan without your business down the road

2. Be diplomatic, especially if you're ending something that's been going a while. you want to make sure not to offend!

3. Stick to your guns - once you decide to end it, don't waiver - may send the wrong message and send mixed signals.

Break-Up Scenarios

1. Your Hairstylist
Scenario: Your hairdresser has been messing up your last two haircuts and you're tired of explaining to everyone why you look like a poodle. Resolution: During a regular wash and style, let her know that you're interested in trying a stylist that specializes in a new treatment or product and you've love for her to recommend a couple of names. You know she doesn't focus in that area and you don't think it's fair to make her try something on your hair she doesn't usually do.

-Not only will she appreciate the direct approach, but the fact that you're asking her advice means you appreciate her work.

2. Your Doctor
Scenario: Your dentist is pretty pricey -- more so than you'd like to pay Resolution: Level -- note that you love his/her services but that it's hitting your wallet pretty rough and you need to space out your payments. If they can, great. If not, ask them for colleagues they trust whose rates may be more reasonable. (Again, respecting their cred)

3. Your dry cleaner
***We'll have an MOS fro Kevin Murray in Buffalo Grove about this*** Verbate/"Hey Relationship Diva, my dry cleaner is always late with my clothes, so when I go somewhere to get them done and go back to my dry cleaner, they always ask where I've been. What do I tell them?"

Scenario: Your dry cleaner isn't taking care of your clothes the way they should or they're not ready in a timely manner. They ask you why you haven't been by.

Resolution: Let them know if there was anything you didn't find satisfactory and that you want to give them another chance but you're concerned about how they've been treating your clothes/their prices/timeliness. Good customer service would at least give them a chance to correct their mistake. If not, keep it moving. There are too many dry cleaners competing for business but at least you gave them a chance to correct it!

4. Your Baby-Sitter
Scenario: You're finding that somehow your child's homework still isn't getting done; she's watching TV when she should be helping your child; your child has picked up some strange bad habits

Resolution: Let the baby-sitter know that you're enrolling your child in a homework program since his/her grades look like they're slipping because homework hasn't been getting completed.

-That should also indirectly send a message to your baby-sitter that you've caught on to what has been going on.

5. That annoying neighbor
Scenario: You have a neighbor that just won't stop coming over and eating your food or just won't go away when you're tired after work

Resolution: Take up a new hobby or stay at work late once or twice. When they don't find you, it should send a signal. And, when they come looking for you let them know that you have some work-related stuff that's kept you busy but that you can do a coffee break to catch up. This protects their feelings and maybe leaves the door open for an occasional brief meeting without resentment.

6. Your Dog Walker
Scenario: Your dog still seems to be relieving themselves at home and you're wondering if your dog walker is coming by during the day.

Resolution: Let the dog walker know that you've noticed that your dog's behavior is concerning you, so you've decided to find someone that can give your pet a little more attention until you're comfortable with his/her progress with your extended stays away from home. You would still like to walk them once in a while though, as time permits, just while the dog gets used to someone new.

7. Your bartender
Scenario: The bartender who mixes your drinks has been getting pretty sloppy and you've decided to find another mixologist who gets it right.

Resolution: Start swinging by a little less and when asked mention that your outings have been bringing you to other parts of town. They're still your fave, but there are other bars around the city you're checking out to see how they measure up!

8. Your roommate
Scenario: You have a roommate whom you're not that crazy about

Resolution: Let her know that you feel that it's time to get your own space and that you think you're ready for a little more privacy. But, you can definitely offer to find her another roommate and get together to catch up on things.

About Jenina
Former New Yorker Jenina Nuñez made Chicago her official home after graduate school, where she quickly dived in head first into the world of working, dating and the single life. After finding, falling for and ultimately losing her first love, The Relationship Diva was born -- and so was her passion for asking questions and writing about dating and relationships, even earning her a Blogs by Latina Award in the Love & Relationships category during the Spring of 2010.

Today, Jenina continues to maintain her blog, The Relationship Diva, on ChicagoNow. She's also written for Guts.Glam.Grace. an online magazine dedicated to the multi-faceted urbanista.

http://www.chicagonow.com/the-relationship-diva

Get more: relationships
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